Tears from a Lonely God - The First Teardrop: Seek My Face

The First Teardrop: Seek My Face

I am your loving heavenly Father. Seek My face,¹ and be a child after your Father's own heart.² This I say to you: My voice is not My face, and My hand is not My heart.

Why is it that you seek only to hear commands, even when your heart is neither prepared nor willing to perform them? You listen for a cold, mechanical voice to speak of My divine will, and try to extract and draw out from Me a purpose for your life. My beloved, here is My will, and here is your purpose: come into My loving and personal flame.³ Yet, you will hardly suffer your icy heart to be melted, and you continue on in wretched indifference.

Why is it that you seek only after the actions of My hands, and look only for what things I can perform before your eyes? Do you not consider that behind these works of grace is an everlasting God? A personality? A loving and desirous Father - one who longs and yearns after His children?⁴

Beloved, have I not desired for you so much more? Would you be content to send away a very good friend - a spouse - and know them distantly by their doings only? Or by their voice only? Would you not rather long and mourn after them, to earnestly see their face, and to be always in their embrace?⁵

Dear child, when will you seek Me simply for who I am? I quicken you with life, and put My Holy Spirit within you, yet you hardly know Me. And, for the love and passion that I had for you, I have even died for you, yet I am still as a stranger to you. You have called on My name for salvation, yet how is it that you still do not consider the one to whom you have called?⁶ You praise Me for My works, (and oh, how I love it!) but how will you give right praise when you scarcely know the one who has done such acts?

Here is the perversity of sin: for you would work and toil your entire life for My cause, yet you will not so much as begin to seek the very one for whom you labor. Does not My blood cry out to you, “I love you!”⁷ And how is it that you still have no desire to see Me?

Seek My face, and be a child after your Father's own heart. My voice is not My face, and My hand is not My heart. Truly, I have not called you to do the works of My hands, but the works of My heart.⁸ Could not sinners also mimic My hand-motions? And could not My angels do such labor?⁹ But rather, I have called you into a love relationship: this is your first calling. It is only from this place that you will testify of My goodness and perform the works of My heart.

Little one, why are you so evilly affectioned toward Me? Do you not know that from the abundance of My heart I will gladly and freely give you all things?¹⁰ Why then do you coldly seek to take from Me? Dearest, I am not a vending machine, where is your love? For I say, “come to Me,” and yet you do not, and you cannot: for sin, even in dormancy, darkens your mind, and turns your affections from Me. This is the working of iniquity within you, and it despicably shades your heart. Sin is the only obstacle, and the only hindrance - yet not in the hands, but within, on the heart.

“Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.” -Matthew 5:8

Child, have I not done a marvelous work within you? When you called on My name for salvation, did I not send an everlasting light into your heart?¹¹ Yet beloved, a dark shroud of sin veils and covers the light of My Spirit - and this veil need not even be active with the movings of sin, for its mere presence over-top My light, (and your continued inaction and ignorance thereof), is enough to blind you into indifference towards Me.

Have you not heard? Do you not know? Child, you are sin. It has become the very fabric of your being.¹² Why then do you attempt to sew My new salvation into this old, tattered garment? You must start anew, else when adding to this well-worn sin-fabric you simply make matters worse. I call you to put on the entire garment of My salvation. While you retain this life, and cling to the old garment, you are a lost cause.

Let go. The life you must now live, it is not your own, but it is Christ that shall live and dwell within you.¹³ You cannot cease from sin, no, not even in heart, not even at rest, so long as that rebel in you has free reign. You cannot love or even seek Me in a true and full measure, no matter how hard you try, so long as you have not yielded to Me your all. What good is the light of My Spirit’s love and salvation so long as the sin of this life is draped over My glory?

My dear, the veil of your old life is total blackness: it cannot by any means be made transparent.¹⁴ My light will never shine through the opaque. Beloved, remove the veil: sin is sin. Do not try to rearrange it or decorate it, remove it. Why will you wait until heaven to uncover My glorious salvation? When will you stop and smell the delightful roses of My presence?

You ask, “where should I go?” and I say unto you: seek My face. You ask, “what should I do?” and I say unto you: be a child after your Father's own heart. I tell you first to be, and not to do. There is more to life than doing. I will call you to the work, and I will speak to you of My will, but won't you seek My face? Won't you be a child after your Father's own heart? My voice, with pangs of longing, says “come,” and My hand, with a soft tenderness, is beckoning you unto My heart.

My little one, I love you! Yet how will you know in full measure until you are lying in My arms? How will you know this brightness until you see it on My very face?